When God rebukes

Just like a loving parent, God rebukes me every now and then, to wake me from my complacency. But through it all, His love and His mercy is evident – and yet, that is precisely what makes me more remorseful. However, He lovingly reminds me that His mercy is new every morning, and His grace is sufficient for me to pick myself up from the ground when I fall, to shake the dust off my clothes, and journey on. I write to share one of such encounter.

Rewind … Sunday, 8 July 2007. Pastor Lee Choo shared on the Season for Intensive Prayer. Amongst other things, she challenged parents to pray for their children – and for all to pray for the next generation. For if we do not, then we have no one to blame but ourselves, when trials and tribulations strike. Then, at our Wednesday cell meeting that followed, more study was done on prayer. The call was for ladies to pray for our children, for the younger generation, that they should be protected from the evil designs of the Devil. We were reminded that if we do not pray, there will come a time when it might be too late, for by then, “the hour has come.”

I heard, and I did nothing.

Forward … Friday, 13 July 2007. I received a call at 9.50 pm, informing me that my nephew had been detained by the police, with no clear indication of the charges, and no one knew exactly where he was. Family was frantic, in anguish. My sister in law merely asked that we pray along with them.

That night, with a heavy and troubled heart, I tried to pray. And as I was trying to pray, the Holy Spirit rebuked me, ever so gently, but struck me so deep that I felt immediate pain, remorse and guilt.

The truth was that some time back, when I first heard that my nephew was doing some work that had some linkage to some political party, I was very concerned and had several times voiced my fear that he was taking a huge risk and that there could be all kinds of consequences - arrest being one of them. The thought had always been on my mind, but apart from participating in small talk and voicing my concern, I did little else.

That night, I could hear God so clearly asking me – why did I not even bother to say a single prayer for my young nephew when the burden was in my heart? Why did I not ask God for covering, for protection, for wisdom, for discernment when I had the chance to? WHY WAIT TILL TRIALS STRIKE BEFORE WE ASK GOD FOR HELP? WHY WAIT TILL THE HOUR HAS COME? Everything that I had heard over the last week came flooding back to my mind.

I had no answer, no defence. Guilty as charged, God. Indeed, if I had been really concerned, I had a duty as an aunt, as a sister in Christ, to pray for him. Concern must come with responsibility. God doesn’t put burden in our hearts for us to make judgment, to make small talk. Burdens are placed in our hearts so that we can stand in the gap, intercede and be what Abraham was to Lot, his nephew, when he interceded and prayed for Lot’s safety in the midst of the evils of Sodom and Gomorrah. And I had failed.

But praise be to God. He is not a God of condemnation, far from it. He is a God of grace and mercy. Even when we fail, we are made righteous by His blood. And He is faithful. Hence, this day, when we are still in the midst of anxiety, I know I can still pray, and God will not hold my failure against me. I know He hears our prayers, and while I may not have the answers to everything, I know that He will be the source of our comfort, our strength and our deliverer.

To my dearest sister-in-law, brother-in-law, nephew and nieces – I can only say I am sorry I did not pray when the time was right. But I know I can still intercede for you – for though the hour has come, it is still not too late. God can still turn everything around for something good, if we persevere and have faith. For did God not agree not to destroy the whole city for the sake of ten, when Abraham persevered in prayer?

As a parent, I can only empathise with all parents who are in pain and anguish when their children go through suffering. No one can truly explain the pain and the sorrow of one who has to see one’s child suffer, for whatever the reason. And I will pray that in such times of difficulty, God will comfort all parents with His assurance – “So do not fear, for I am with you, do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand” (Isaiah 41:10)

My little boy of 5 said this to my husband and I on Saturday evening : “I know I have to be good, but when I grow up, I don’t know if I will be good or bad”. Oh, so much truth we see in that statement. It convicted us of our huge responsibility to pray for the younger generation so that they will always make the right choices in life.

And so, for all you young people out there – I pray that you will all grow with Godly wisdom and discernment to always know the good from the bad. And perhaps, more importantly, the courage and strength to always choose good, no matter what the consequence.

Jacq Chitty